Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Coming Out of My Box

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
- Confucius


“I was and still a bad communicator. If I were to have it my way, I would work and live in a box.”

It seemed like only yesterday when I wrote these two sentences for the first line in my very first blogpost. Thinking back, I must say, for once, I am glad to not have something done my way. I did contemplate whether to drop this module or not as I felt that the workload is heavy and demanding. But my mum said,” You are going to need all these skills eventually, so why not learn them now?” And so I have hung on and “survived” to tell the story.

I guess taking this module was a first step which initiated many other things, like starting a blog (in the past, I did think of starting one but never actually get down to doing that), doing peer teaching, crafting job application letter, resume, personal statement, attending mock job interview (at least the next time my interviewers ask “what if we tell you that you perform poorly in today’s interview…?” I will not be caught completely off-guard) and of course, tackling the mother of all distress: the proposal and the oral presentation (we spent half of the semester on this, can you believe that?!).

To me, what makes this module very different from my other modules would be the part on peer review. Commenting is easy when all you have to say is “Great piece of writing! FULL STOP” but that was not the case. We had to give feedback, both positive and negative, that would help the writer improve his or her writing. I find this requirement quite hard to meet especially when the writer wrote better than me. I wish I could comment on more blogposts but due to time and ability constraints, I did not manage to do so. On a plus side, I learnt to be more critical, which was something that I tried not to be in the past for fear of hurting people’s feelings. I think that as long as we have a point, we can give the person our opinion (without sounding too righteous) and how the person reacts to the feedback is just beyond our control.

I have learnt so much in such a short span of time but even after completing this course, there are still so many areas that I need to improve on, especially my speaking. I know I still have a long way to go before I reach the level of a professional communicator; one who can speak fluently and confidently. Hence, my learning to become a better communicator does not end with completion of ES2007S or as they say, “Learning is a not a destination but a journey”.

To hammer in the one last nail for the whole time I was banging on about in my reflection, I can think of no better way except to amend my first line from my very first blogpost:

"I was a bad communicator. But I am not as bad as I used to be. I have come out of my box, enlarged it a bit, and now more people can come in!"


To all my classmates (in no particular order): Abby, Aldrich, Chee Siang, Evonne, Ivan, Ken Jie, Sarah, Sheryl, Wen Jun, Xiang Min, Yuan Ru (ok, it’s in alphabetical order), thanks for making me feel like I am back in school again…I have great time “communicating” with all of you and also taking the “elevator test” (though sometimes I feel we ought to take the stairs). And of course, a bigger thank you to Brad, for being a great facilitator and probably the only lecturer whom you can wave enthusiastically at from afar.

11 comments:

  1. Hi Wan Wei!

    I would first like to applaud you for coming out of your box at the end of the entire course. Honestly, my first impression of you is that you are a typical shy and quiet girl. However, I can see that as time passes, you really made an effort to open up to the rest of your classmates!

    I totally agree with you that this course has taught us extremely important skills like how to write a proposal, resume, personal statement etc. These skills will live with us for a very long period of time, unlike other modules in NUS. Once exams are finished, knowledge gets thrown out of my puny brain. However, I beg to differ that despite the need to be critical sometimes, people still need to be critical in a tactful way that will not hurt people's feelings as well! In this way, others are able to take criticisms in a more gracious manner as well. This is probably also a way of communicating effectively as well.

    In any case, thank you for being a great classmate, Wan Wei! See ya!

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  2. Hallo Wan Wei,

    It was great fun getting to know you better as my blog buddy and in the project group.

    As the course progressed, I realised that you are actually a great listener, one who is able to easily understand the meanings of others' messages and remember them. Additionally, you were not as reserved as I had initially thought that you'd be. Instead, you were friendly and considerate of other people's feelings, like in your blog comments and chock-full of original ideas and contributions.

    You have definitely progressed as a communicator, become more confident speaking in front of middle/large groups of people and being less afraid of speaking out. Hope that you would continue to practice your communication skills and improve to be a fabulous communicator in the future. Who knows, maybe you would become a communication coach like Brad in the future :) Anything's possible.

    Thanks for being a great groupmate! Don't forget to keep in touch!

    Well wishes to you,
    Abigail

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  3. Hi Wan Wei,

    I am so sorry for leaving such a strong impression on you during the mock job interview. Please forgive me!!!

    I do agree with you that giving constructive comments is not easy at all! I think that it is also one aspect of communication that we are practicing. I do agree with Sarah that we still need to be tactful, a factor which I can improve on after looking at some of the comments I have made.

    As for your communication skills, I think most of us can observe your change easily. During your oral presentation, you definitely sound more confident and loud. You are also a great person to talk to and a great team mate to work with. I am so glad you did not drop the module.

    Cheers,
    Chee Siang

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  4. Thank you, Wan Wei, for everything you have done in ES2007S and for not cursing me at the end of it. This post is really a testament to your effort and to how 12 weeks of "torture" can lead to great things. I appreciate how you see the experience as helping you "come out of your box." Indeed, I feel like I've witnessed that process this term, especially in your final proposal and presentation, then in the couple chances we've had to chat.

    I do hope the"enthusiastic wave" you mention will evolve into another chance to talk some time!

    Meanwhile---All the best for your future!

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  5. Hey Wan Wei,

    Commenting on blogs definitely is more than just a few lines that says "Great effort" or "Good Job". You're right in saying that we've learned to be more critical in the process. I find myself trying to understand what the writer tries to convey, instead of picking on the surface. I hope I didn't hurt anyone's feelings with regards to blog comments! Of course, to put our comments in a nicer tone is also very important in good communication.

    I don't think you are a bad communicator before ES2007S. I guess you were just shy?? Most people appear to be more reserved around people they are not familiar with. I'm no exception. From your oral presentation and blog posts, I feel that you have good writing abilities (so you should start a blog now!) and you can communicate comfortably with a crowd. That's a good start and I hope you've gained some confidence.

    Hope we'll see each other around on campus! Good luck for exams!

    p.s: I'm Evonne! I wanna be between Chee Siang and Ivan!

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  6. Oops! I am so sorry Evonne. Edited the post a few nanoseconds after reading your comment

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  7. A meaningful quote you have started off with in this blog post. Indeed, it seemed like only yesterday I was reading your blog and commenting on it. However, you are not a bad communicator.

    Did someone say that to you during the interview? About “What if we tell you that you performed poorly in today’s interview?”? That’s a rather shocking thing to hear from an interviewer I supposed, and I will definitely be stunned for at least a second or two before I recollect my senses and reply.

    Hahahaha, we should be taking the stairs all the time after lessons, but guess we would always be tired from brainstorming sessions, or a laughing session at each of our interestingly funny oral presentations.

    Thank you Wan Wei, for your precious comments on my blog. I understand that you have a hectic schedule, thus I took all your comments and feedbacks with extreme attention. Hope to see you around in school, and remember to say hi to me! =P

    Regards,
    Ivan

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  8. Hiya Wanwei,

    Congratulations on coming out of your box! =)

    Like the rest, I feel that I did somehow witness that transformation in you. Remember our first lesson? To be very honest, I did feel that you were scared of or disliked me and Sarah then. Haha, but after I read your first blog post, I found out that you were just extremely shy. =)

    Your blog posts are also always a joy to read! Something about the tone or language used in your posts also portrays a kind of confidence, and I know that there somewhere inside of you is someone like that! You should let that side out more often! Haha =P

    Anyway it has been great having you in the class. I do hope to see you around school in the future (you can wave enthusiastically to me too when that happens), and I wish you all the best in whatever you do!

    xo,
    Sheryl

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  9. Wan Wei~

    Now is my turn to get into your enlarged box and post my comments. =)

    Your blog posts have always been interesting to read because you are willing to share your innermost feelings and thoughts. I am glad that you overcame your initial phobias about this module. Similarly for me, ES2007S is only the beginning of a learning journey.

    I still find it quite amazing how we pulled though for Peer Teaching even though we lacked rehearsal. Anyway, that was quite a fun experience.

    Good luck for exams!

    Cheers,
    Xiang Min

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  10. I would like to thank all my classmates who have commented on my blogpost, not just this one, but for all the posts in the entire semester. Your time and effort spent in giving constructive feedback are greatly appreciated, and I apologise if your eyes were strained when reading some of my longer and dryer posts.

    To Sheryl, I admit I was not only shy, but I actually felt really out of place when we were in the same group as I had difficulty communicating with you and Sarah where I felt that I wasn't on the same channel as you and Sarah. Anyway, it was purely my fault as such thing had often happened in the past, even among my close friends where they would laugh at things that did not appear funny to me. As a friend pointed out, I was too serious and this would give people the impression that I was giving them the cold shoulder. That was one reason that made me a bad communicator, and hence, the need for me to attend a communication course, in which I am glad I did :)

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  11. Hi Wan Wei,

    (This is somewhat unconventional but I am hijacking the comment section of your reflection post to do a little of my own reflecting. =P)

    I still remember I had the chance to walk and chat with you on your way back to hall at the beginning of the semester. I wanted to get to know you better, so that you could feel more relaxed in class after having gotten to know one more person in a group of unfamiliar faces. (I hope I didn't scare you by giving you the impression that I was trying to woo you!) I felt then that you were very much like me, shy when talking to a large group but alright when conversing one on one.

    I am glad that as the semester progressed, you have opened up more. Over the last few blog posts, I have begun to perceive you have a quirky sense of humour and that is something I hope to see more in person as well.

    I hope I don't come across as a know-it-all wannabe, but, in case you are wondering, here is what I do to appear confident while presenting. I lose the ego. I start to operate in autopilot mode and as a result I stop bothering about what the audience thinks of me. Of course, I don't mean curse and swear and dig your nose or whatever, but just continue to act in a decent manner and stop worrying about what the audience is thinking.

    This is just one way (I was just waiting for the chance to make this unfunny pun) of appearing confident. I am sure you can learn of other means from the really impressive speakers who exude confidence from their pores like Brad and Aldrich. I hope this helps and that you continue learning with every step you take.

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